Observe

Dear Reader,


The rules of grammar sometimes allude me, so please forgive my rough composition of thoughts...

Life crawls along seemingly slow when you are a child. The break Summer offered, was truly time enough to recuperate from the "rigorous" schedule elementary school offered. Of course, looking back it easy to see those were simpler times. In my buckled-up sandals, matching shirt and short set with my goofy grin brimming from one freckled cheek to the other, the biggest conflict to me was how to wriggle my loose tooth free, so I would not have to endure my mother pulling another out for me or learning how to tie my shoes.


It seems life comes at you much faster when you are older. I still remember dreading my first day in grade one and now it has been over three years since I graduated high school. It is funny how my priorities have changed as well as my concerns. The old insecurities of middle school are still there, in a sense, but when the newest Backstreet Boys CD comes out, I won't be rushing to the store that day to purchase it. I am more concerned with modesty and comfort, over the trends in fashion. I would rather be invited to an At Home America party than a party with loud music and dancing...then again, that is not really something that has changed, it is simply more acceptable for a married twenty-one-year-old to say that, than a thirteen year old girl.


Of course, I do not have the late night, movie marathon, giggle fests we called "sleepovers" with the girls anymore. Somehow, that does not bother me though. At the time, it was exciting and fun to be included but now at bedtime I would rather snuggle up close to my husband and fill out some Mad Libs, chat over a game of Rummy 500 and do our devotions together. A part of me misses the comradory I was able to find in high school and college; the fellowship and accountability was abundant. That is one reason I do sigh a little when I hear about the latest adventures the girls are having in my old dorm, or the new experiences that my high school friends are getting to take part in...without me.


I did make my choice though, and in the end, I do not regret it. Ray is a piece of that time that God allowed me to take home with me and integrate into my life. He strives to serve our Savior with all his heart, which offers a great example for me. Being close to him, has brought me closer to Him. Through Ray, I have been able to see the spiritual growth that has occurred over time.


As a child, my faith was simple. I knew God was in my heart. I believed He had a home in me and was making a difference in my life. It was not until ninth grade though, that I developed a deeper relationship with my Father. Since then, I have continued to have some hiccoughs along the way, but compared to the person I was, I see I am definitely not stagnant!


My parents produced pretty good demonstrations of faith throughout my childhood. Of course, the family devotions, prayer, Christian schools and church helped...still, seeing them continually seeking God's will when it was abundantly clear what He was asking of them, even if it required great sacrifice, they were ready and willing to follow. We were always provided for, even in the lowest of lows. Hopefully, that part of my parents was instilled in me.


One more thought, just because I was discussing it recently with my best friend, Becky. When did I cross into the territory where it is exciting to receive a casserole dish for Christmas? She was just recently engaged and asked me to be Maid of Honor (or in my case Matron of Honor) for her wedding but we both were laughing at how much things have changed. You see, she was with me at the peak of my boy-band obsession and the drama that is middle-school. So, we both just had to wonder "Really, where did we cross that line?" I honestly remember tearing open wrapped gifts at Christmas, oohing and ahhing at the sight of the various toys or CDs I now beheld and then (since we opened one gift at a time, in turn) watching my mom smile as she held up the crock pot she had just acquired and thinking to myself, "I really dread the day I find that exciting!"


It's not so bad though. I see such things as an investment in my life, in my family. Better tools in the kitchen or around the home make my job easier and I more effectively am able to show Ray how much I care. Yes, my measure of success has also been effected. I strive for a clean house and to make sure my husband is comfortable. If I succeed, then I am pleased. Of course, it stinks that it is a never-ending task and everyone else (outside my husband) is under the impression I do nothing around here (that I need a job) but Ray makes an effort to help out and in addition convey his gratitude. My biggest accomplishment, about a week ago, was my first pie I ever made from scratch. Eager to get over the hurdle of "It looks too hard!" I tied my apron 'round my waist, set out all the necessary ingredients and set to work following the recipe in my Betty Crocker cookbook. About an hour later, I pulled a beautifully browned, pecan pie, from the oven. MMM! It was a big hit :)


What have you noticed about yourself as time goes on? Has your perspective changed? If you are a Christian, struggling with the failings in your walk with Christ, look back on the road you have traversed to see how far you've come. Do not measure yourself against anyone or anything else, except of course the Bible. Don't dwell on the past (because all we have is now) but learn from it and understand that one thing the past shows you, is that we are all destined to make some of the same mistakes again...and again. Keep at it! If you are not saved, I hope that you will consider what has been missing in your life and realize that the best change of perspective and the greatest growth, comes in knowing the Lord as your Savior!

"For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life."

~John 3:16~

"One thing I ask of the LORD, this is what I seek: that I may dwell in the house of the LORD all the days of my life, to gaze upon the beauty of the LORD and to seek him in his temple."

~Psalm 27:4~

In Christ,

PS: As you observe and ponder life, please check out these songs that pose some questions---
What Are You Waiting For-Natalie Grant
What If-Nichole Nordeman
Why-Nichole Nordeman
Who Am I-Casting Crowns

"Do you want to be free?/Lift your chains, I hold the key./ All power on Heav’n and Earth belong to me."

(Set Me Free-Casting Crowns)

I Don't Have to Be a Christian 'Til Sunday

Dear Reader,


Sunshine pours through the window, as I prepare for church, picking out the perfect outfit and brushing my hair. As I have yet to master the art of walking in heels, I wobble to the car, purse and Bible in hand. We approach the large building and upon stepping out of the car, we begin to hear the faint strains of music ringing out. Upon finding a seat, we are then instructed to stand, turn in our hymnal to the designated song and sing. More songs are sung by the choir, scripture is read, the pastor shares a message that gets the heart pumping and my spirit on fire...then, just like that, it's over. We walk back to the car, feeling convicted, well-aware of where the message can be applied in our lives...but what then? Is that day's church elation enough to sustain me for the week, until the next sermon comes along?


No! And it's not meant to either.


I do not go to church merely for the sake of a pat on the back, although I confess to having to scold myself for proud thoughts. The pastor reminded us that it is not enough to simply be a Christian on Sunday. If all I do for Christ is in the confines of His house with His children, then where is my ministry? I give a testimony every day, whether I realize it or not. How I handled a confrontation in the grocery store, an order that was mixed up, what I wear, which songs I play in the company of friends... The list goes on. Because I am a child of God, I need to live like one every day, not just on Sunday.


The pastor makes it very clear that sitting in that pew is not what saves you and I agree wholeheartedly. It is an important part of your walk with Christ (as I wrote about earlier this month), but it is not what saves you. However, it is easy to slip into the mindset that "Well, I did my part...I went and spent time with Christians, did all that "God" stuff. I'm set for the week." I don't know about you but the rest of the week is where I really find I need God. It is outside of the walls of the church where I truly am me.


I have been going to church for so long, that sometimes I feel as if I am just going through the motions. So guarded, I keep a smile on my face, despite any pain inside, not willing to admit to any weakness. I am also lacking in the art of small talk. If you talk to me long enough I, unfortunately, am prone to spilling my heart out. The rest of my social aptitude is stunted by my shyness. Where am I going with all this? Well, when I walk out that door, grasping my husband's hand and heading to the car, off to the rest of our day...our week...I start to let the truth be told. He knows my struggles. He knows my temptations, trials and prayer needs. He also knows my strengths. There are many other people who sit around me in church. If they are doing similar, in that they know all the right words to say and how to dress on Sunday, but they walk out the door and fall apart, or curse at the traffic, what testimony is that?


We are a walking testimony... That hit me hard. I do understand this concept but lately I have started to revert back to my silent, back against the wall, cowardly self. Rather than endure the uncertain outcome of confronting someone close to me, who is making poor choices, I choose to keep silent. I silently berated myself for not speaking up when opportunities had arose. If I am in my home and there is a video being played that is saturated in fowl language...and I mean, every other second, uncensored (not that that changes anything). ARGH! Did I say something? Rather than offend my guests...I would rather be offended, and in the process look as if I condone such a filthy rant. THAT, is not being a Christian!


I am called to be set apart and no one is going to believe me, if I am sitting there blending in with the world. If you are feeling like the lowest common denominator when it comes to your Christian testimony, don't despair. Do something about it! Be bold! When you hear that voice in the back of your mind, telling you that a situation is wrong, speak up, walk away, do the right thing! That voice is your conscience, the Holy Spirit. Listen! It may be easier said than done, but I guarantee you will have a better ministry to those around you, if you begin to live like a Christian not only when the pastor's watching, but when God's watching.

"I, therefore, the prisoner of the Lord, beseech you to walk worthy of the calling with which you were called."

~Ephesians 4:1~

"This I say, therefore, and testify in the Lord, that you should no longer walk as the rest of the Gentiles walk, in the futility of their mind, having their understanding darkened, being alienated from the life of God, because of the ignorance that is in them, because of the blindness of their heart; who, being past feeling, have given themselves over to lewdness, to work all uncleanness with greediness."

~Ephesians 4:17-19~

In Christ,





PS: Check out these songs!

Testify-Avalon

Secret-Out of Eden
Serious-Joy Williams
Keep Quiet-Barlowgirl

One Giant Step Back

Dear Reader,

Have you ever had to take a giant step back, just to realize all the blessings God has bestowed upon you? I do not mean stepping into a slimy situation that suddenly makes you thankful for what you had, I am speaking of those times where things are going well. Those times where things really seem to be shaping up, and although you recognize it is the work of God, you find yourself too consumed by life to count the blessings around you.

Along this road that is "life", I have hit some bumps, fell into the ditch and curled up in the fetal position. I have known what it is to wallow in self-pity and to question God's provision. Yet even still, He provides. It is when I am overwhelmed with the "I wants", saturated in impatience, that I seem to forget He is daily blessing me. He not only makes provision for my needs but He sees fit to offer me some of my desires as well. How amazing is that?!

So, where did this train of thought board the track? Well, my husband and I bought our first home, last month. We closed on it on the 31st of August and promptly moved in the following day, with much help from family and friends. It has been just over a week now, but I still find myself walking around this house in a daze, in awe of God's handiwork. Our home is beautiful to me and beyond what I would have ever dreamed we would be able to afford or find. It was not a fixer-upper, we were able to move in right away. It has three bedrooms, which offers room for expansion of our family someday, a lovely kitchen, large backyard, your standard living room and bathroom, as well as a laundry room. No doubt, my husband and I are grateful. I did not do anything to deserve such a home, but surely I am giving thanks!

Despite it being easier now to see how many blessings I have, I still find things coming out of my mouth like "Aw, c'mon...Why can't I have a dog?" My husband grows frustrated and sad when I hound on such issues. When I am fixated on what I do not have, it makes him feel like all that he did to make what I DO have possible, was not worth it. Why did he bother? If that is how he feels, how much worse does God feel?

In our first place together, the apartment we just moved from, it was difficult to find my blessings at times. You would think if things were miserable and something good came along, I would be all on that, thanking God and feeling happy. However, I really did not notice them. Having a roof over my head, shelter from the cold, a soft bed to fall into each night, a laptop which I can readily communicate to my family and friends with, and much more. I must have thought those were things I should have anyway because I had to really step back and look at my situation compared to others around the country, or the world, who do not even have walls around them, blankets to warm them, fresh water to drink, food to eat... So, I started to make a point of stepping back to count my blessings. When something was bothering me, or I felt I was owed something that was being withheld (like new living arrangements) I had to really step out of my current situation, to truly SEE my present circumstances.

I just want to encourage you, and mind you this is coming from one of those most negative people I know, that there is always something to be grateful for. There are times where it will be easier to count your many blessings while other times offer more of a challenge. And I must warn you, that if even in those times of seemingly endless blessings, you may still find yourself wondering why you are without things, as I do. That is why whether in good times, or in bad times, it is important to evaluate your life from a different perspective. Take a step back, look at it from someone else's shoes, be humbled and thank the Lord, for He is always good.

"Blessed are all who fear the LORD, who walk in his ways.
You will eat the fruit of your labor; blessings and prosperity will be yours."

~Psalm 128:1-2~

In Christ,

PS: Check out these songs: Instead-Stacie Orrico

Blessed-Martina McBride

Count Your Blessings

Making the Bed, Doing Dishes and Going to Church?

To My Fellow Christian,

Church. What image does that word conjure up in your mind? What feeling does it fill you with? If you are like me, it can sometimes inspire a feeling of dread. All those eyes will be watching me, sizing me up. "Is the skirt just brushing the top of my knees too short?" I wonder, shifting uncomfortably in my seat, "Do they find my dress inappropriate, because it shows my shoulders?" Then there are those Sundays where my husband and I find ourselves running behind schedule. We slip into the back of the sanctuary, as the first hymn rings out, straining our necks to see if there are any seats available. As one of my family members unfortunately discovered, some people truly do look down on you for being late. If it is not the sense of judging eyes on my back, it is the overwhelming apathy I feel in the mornings, before I arrive at church. Church? Isn't that a chore?


Despite these not-so-uncommon issues I struggle with, we still manage to rise and shine, or at least rise, most Sunday mornings. You may wonder why I subject myself to something I harbor such negative ideas towards. The reason is: I never regret going.


When I was just a baby, my parents had me dedicated at their church. This simply meant that they were making a declaration to the congregation, and to God, that they would raise me in the church, in God's ways. It also was a call to the people, to pray and aid these parents in that venture. They held true to this, raising both me and my brother in the church. It was not always the same building, or congregation, but it was always God's house. What's more, they did not leave Him at the altar. He came home with us as well, in family devotions, thanking Him before meals, and through the examples my parents set.


Understanding that having God in your life is more than a trip to church on Sunday, goes a long way to accepting why He calls us to join in fellowship with fellow Christians each week.

As a child, I remember sitting in the pew with my parents, next to my grandma and Uncle Mark, looking up at the cross that hung from the ceiling. I am not sure if I could grasp what the pastor was saying nor if I even remember the setting as well as I think, but I do know that the thought crossed my mind "Will I continue this faith when I grow older?" Somehow, I knew I would face a point where I had to decide for myself to go to church on Sunday, to live a life for Christ.

I am not sure exactly when that threshold was passed, but I know I did accept that being a Christian meant being obedient, and that meant going to church. (It means a great many more things too, but I am focusing on this particular topic.) Now that I am married, it is no longer my parents rousing me out of my sleep, urging me to get ready on Sunday morning. It is my devoted husband who spurs me on. He struggles with the apathy, more than the fear of judgement, but I am thankful that as the spiritual leader of the home, he makes sure to hold me accountable in sharing fellowship with God's people.


Once I am there, settled into the pew, going through the rhythm of turning to such-and-such a hymn, rising, sitting, bowing my head... I begin to feel more at ease. I know God's presence is there, amongst us. He brings me peace. In fact, I have even been known to crack a smile. It amazes me how many people stand, rigid and poker-faced, singing about the wondrous grace of Jesus. It is hard to get excited sometimes. I do understand that. I am not saying I am beaming through every song, but it is worth projecting on the outside, so that if someone is watching, they will actually believe you are happy about being "set free".


The messages our pastor shares are like sermons should be. They're not sugar-coated, at times harder to swallow, but always scriptural and always true. I suppose it is to each his own, but the fluff sermons that make you feel good, are not going to translate to anything outside those church doors. Anything is possible, but it seems like more of a challenge...like, stepping out into the world suddenly makes peace, joy and love look impossible.


Ok, so I get something out of the message. What about those who really have a hard time listening? Just a tip: If you find yourself to be someone who has difficulty sitting still, focus that energy into taking notes. I have taken notes on the simplest, most straight-forward sermons, just because it helps me pay attention. (I used to doodle in history class, when there were no notes to take, because I had a lot of nervous energy...but my teacher didn't like that, so I would recommend sticking to note taking. Those around you will be more inclined to believe you're paying attention.) So, reason number one to go to church: 1) A good message, that will convict you and always leads you back to the Bible as the ultimate authority.


The hymns can blend together one Sunday to the next, but there are some that really get me excited. One hymn in particular, "Amazing Love" is our church's theme song. When the pastor calls out "502!" you know there is going to be an increase in the fervor with which people are singing. It makes me smile to see fellow children of God, excited about their chains falling off and being freed from the bondage of sin. Plus, we are worshipping God. He deserves praise. Sharing my voice in a multitude, knowing He can hear my off-key, heartfelt voice all on its own, also makes me smile. He doesn't care! It is beautiful to His ears. 2) Praise God!


You may wonder where my fear of dealing with someone who comes across a little "high and mighty" comes in. Where there are Christians, there are humans...where there are humans, there is sin. No one is perfect, but because of this, some of us pump ourselves up as if we are. It is a pat on the back to think "Well, I showed up on time, so I shouldn't have to move down for them. It's his/her fault for being late! " I am just as guilty as the next person with thoughts of "Well, at least I did/didn't..." My conscience is pretty loud though and quick to remind me, "Yes, but just a moment ago..." or "But you have struggled with that before." Show some compassion! That is the plus side to gathering with these people though. Despite our deficiencies, the majority of us are open to hearing about your heart-issues, your health issues, whatever burden you have carried to the altar with you. There is always someone willing to lift you up in prayer. 3) A support system. A prayer chain.


I could probably come up with even more reasons, but I believe these are the biggest ones for me. I am sure you have heard this many times..."Don't forget! It is not just what you get out of church, it is what you give back." I am not referring to tithing (although, that is something that shows obedience to Christ) but I am talking about being an example. Look at your own life. Evaluate your own walk. Apply the sermon to the life you live, not to those around you. Be the person lending a listening ear or offering a supportive hug and really take the time to read the words you are singing out to the Lord. Feel it in your heart!


But the best way to get excited about going back to church each week, is to take Him with you, wherever you go.


In Christ,





PS: Check out these songs- If We Are the Body-Casting Crowns
Stained Glass Masquerade-Casting Crowns
Please Come-Nichole Nordeman