Conversations With Satan

Satan: I see you're writing up another blog.

Kristin: ignores the comment and continues typing

Satan: Not talkative today, eh? Well, that's a shame. By the way, you missed a comma there.

Kristin: You're right I am not talking to you... realizes she just talked to him Aww man...

Satan: smiles I knew you'd come around. So, what's this blog about?

Kristin: stops typing I'm warning others about the mind games you play.

Satan: Mind games? What do you mean? Is that like a rubix cube or Clue?

Kristin: Don't play dumb with me. You know exactly how manipulative you are.

Satan: Well, who reads this blog of yours?

Kristin: resumes typing People.

Satan: What sort of people?

Kristin: Mostly friends and family.

Satan: Hmm, that's not a lot is it?

Kristin: If those who read can benefit from what I have to say then it does not matter how many read it, it matters that those few were touched.

Satan: You don't sound like you completely buy that.

Kristin: Of course I do...I guess.

Satan: So, not many people read it...How many people are you convincing of these so-called mind games I play?

Kristin: Stop! holds up her hands palm out Back off. This is something that God has placed on my heart to do for Him. I am not going to let you ruin it. Now you've completely distracted me from what I was saying...tries to find her place

Satan: waits for her to begin typing again You'd think that if God really wanted you to do this for Him that He'd provide a broader audience.

Kristin: glares No!...Well, maybe...Wait, no! See, this is what I mean. You get in people's heads and try to sway them from the truth. God did call me to write about the lessons He has revealed to me. Just because you don't want other people to know the truth doesn't mean I am going to stop writing. Deal with it!

Satan: So you think you could use some more people reading it...I don't see many comments on most of your entries. Your own friends and family don't really seem to take much care in reading your blogs. Sounds like God is just setting you up for failure.

Kristin: Yeah, it is annoying that they don't take the time to read them...but my views are not very popular...so maybe that has something to do with it.

Satan: Writing about all that God stuff losing you friends?

Kristin: Sort of...Feels that way. Oh, and it's not all that "God stuff" it's Truth!

Satan: Maybe you should lighten up. You do come across judgmental and narrow in some of these. I can see where you could face some adversity.

Kristin: Do I really sound narrow and judgmental? I try so hard to paint the portrait of a sinner saved by grace, but...but...it just seems to be buried underneath my biblical beliefs.

Satan: Write about something less controversial. I am sure they'll read your blogs then. That way you're still writing...right?

Kristin: Yeah, that sounds reasonable. Snaps out of her lull Actually, no it doesn't. That is exactly what you want me to do! You want me to quit trying to win souls for Christ and abandon my goals and soon you'll have me questioning the very beliefs I feel so strongly about. That's not happening!

Satan: You have it all wrong, Kristin. I just...

Kristin: Cuts him off You just what? Just are a pain? Yes, you're right. Now, stop bugging me. I have a new angle for my latest blog. Before I start that though...

Kristin: Dear Lord,

Satan: No! Don't stop talking to me. C'mon we were having a good time there for a bit. You got my point!

Kristin: Lord, thank you for blessing me with a talent for writing in order to express myself. Not only have you equipped me with the talent, but also the drive and desire. I love to write and what better way for me to get your name out there than through writing.

Satan: sarcastically Oh nuts...I lost her for now. Well, I'll try again later when no one reads this great blog she is about to write. Later!

Kristin: Satan has tried to discourage me and I must confess it worked. I have found renewed hope in each blog...only to find little response if any. It's hard, Lord. I want to know that people are being ministered to. It's about you. Make it all about you.

In Jesus' Name I Pray,
Amen

smiles and begins typing a brand new blog

Battle Cry

I am not completely devoid of any joy
But I find a negative attitude much easier to employ.
I read many a book about the real me
and realize more and more
how much I don't deserve eternity.
Not with the Holy Savior.
Not with my Heavenly Father.

Ever since my humble repentance,
I've had access to His glorious defenses.
But you try to get me down,
Telling me I look quite well with this ugly frown.
"A scowl and a sneer, that will bring them near."
Oh, but you know that is not true.
Go away, leave me be.
I do not want you in my life,
all you cause is pain and strife.
Weavers of lies under the Father of Lies,
and you prey on the weak,
who by your words abide.

I can cast you down.
I can cast you out.
Then why do I take so much time?
Why do I let you in for awhile,
pull up a seat,
find out what intrigues you'll use as deceipt?
Why do I entertain those words, and
let them linger?
You are not part of this equation.
My home is not here for your invasion.
Again, I put my foot down.
Leave!

I call on The Truth
and you're gone.
As long as I keep my Sword at my side,
and raise my shield against your fiery arrows,
I will continue safely down the narrow.
Away from me!

Don't call me naiive or innocent,
as if it is an insult,
as if it is a crime.
You use others to do your dirty work,
and in the shadows you choose to lurk.
But when the Light is shone on you,
you're exposed as weak and powerless.
Do not bend the truth of my Father's Word.
Do not denounce its worth or value.
It was written then, it rings true now.
And only at the King's feet will I bow.

Didn't you hear me?
I said you can't win.
I am no longer burdened by every sin.
Jesus shed every one of them on the cross,
so that in Heaven I shall live.I accepted this, I will be there.

On earth you will wander,
and try to bother.
But you'll soon answer to the Father.
You'll be back with your pack of wolves,
but mark my words I am getting stronger.
Not by might of my own,
but only by the might of the throne.
This is life is His,
you cannot have it.
I'm His child.
Redeemed.
Justified.
Forgiven.
This is a war
you just cannot win.

Weathering The Storm---Under God's Watch Box

In my more sane moments, I am able to acknowledge the profound love of God. However, if you have been under attack you understand that nothing but that attack seems to get through, until you choose to fight back. This morning I woke up to the alarm clock alerting my husband to get up. He did so, and I remained in bed as I had no reason to get up. I did eventually get up to spend some time with him before he left. I enjoy those moments, before I have to say good-bye for the day. After he left, I returned to bed, but browsed the internet for awhile. I checked my usual sites, and then determined I needed more sleep. As I was about to put my laptop into hibernation, weatherbug chirped at me. I did not think much of it, until I noticed it said "tornado watch." TORNADO?! I quickly checked another site to confirm the areas under the watch, and promptly got up and ready for the day. I'm not a huge fan of storms. The fear is irrational, but it is there nonetheless. I peered out our back window to see what it looked like only to find large, billowing, dark clouds. Needless to say, this did not help my frantic state. What made matters worse was the watch was in effect until the time my husband is usually arriving home. What good did that do me? I tried to reason with myself, but the "what ifs" kept swirling around in my head. Shaking, I picked up the phone and called my mom. She was just starting her class but, fortunately, she had a helper there to keep the kids on task while she calmed me down. She was sympathetic to my concerns, but told me to simply think it through. If there is a warning, where do I go for shelter? Do I have a flashlight handy if the power goes out? Mom suggested I put some water in the fridge and gather some of my important documents, just so I had them on hand. She did not tell me to panic, just know how to be prepared in the event a tornado ever did hit. We talked for a bit longer, and I went back to sitting, tensed up, with my laptop in front of me. My ears were alert to everything, and I found my head kept turning toward the window. When the power briefly went out, I was also reminded of the fact that I would no longer have any access to the outside world. The phone would not work, nor my internet connection. Somewhere in all this, I had started to write a blog...I thought I'd share it with you, so that you can see what happens to me when I am not letting God handle the situation:

"Ok, so the whole downside to living in a tropical climate is STORMS! I absolutely HATE storms. Why am I in Florida then? Well, it was the only way Ray and I could start out on relatively stable ground. Anyway, there is presently a tornado watch for my area, and for those who know me this prompts sudden panic. I suppose this is one of those moments for me, where I have to let go and trust God. In theory, it sounds so easy. God can calm the roaring ocean and silence the storm. He's omnipotent! Trusting a situation to someone like that makes perfect sense. However, it is me we are dealing with. Irrational fears? I'm an expert. Don't let that fool you into thinking that I am a complete mess. I have prayed. I am remaining aware of my surroundings, and continually talking to God. It is really dark out...and all peaceful. Ray's at work so I am, as far as humans go, alone. I'm afraid. I'm not ashamed to state this to you. I've never really written one of these blogs WHILE I am facing a spiritual attack. Why do I call this a spiritual attack? Well, God certainly is not the one who is causing me grief. ---Ok, I called my mom. Doing better. It's raining. Rain I can deal with. I can't believe this is only a taste of what is to come with spring and summer. She always helps me think things through. I cannot believe the day has only just begun. I suppose that is why I wrote the story I did. Sometimes it just feels like I close my eyes to the battle for a moment, only to wake up to another attack. It wouldn't wear me so much if I simply ... Sorry, power just went off for a moment. That also means I cannot be online, or call out. Disadvantage to Vonage... Anyway, I suppose I shall close for now. Just needed to get this off my chest."

I did not make much sense, and I kept going around in circles trying to reassure myself. Would you like to know what finally got me to a place where I was much more calm? I used a method that is well-known and very easy, but often slips my mind when I am afraid...until I realize I cannot fight it off on my own power. All I did was prayed! I opened up a blank document in Word and just typed my heart out to God. I didn't worry about all the errors I was making because I was typing so frantically (and missing keys because I was shaking). I just said all I had to say and asked for protection over not only me, but my husband and everyone else in the watch box. In the end, I came up the console that I was not in a tornado watch box, I was in God's watch box. It sounded corny, but it was true and reassuring. There may be a watch out, because the conditions are right for a tornado to form, but there is someone bigger than any weather system watching over me. The rest of the day I was still jumpy, except deep down I felt as if God was protecting me. Spiritual attacks are not pretty, and they can make you fall to pieces over the smallest things. The great news is, no matter how many pieces we crumble into, God knows how to put us back together. If we are going to forget His power and be broken, then isn't it good to know that the One who catches us can not only put us back together, but make us even stronger. We are not the same as a shattered vase, which is only weaker if you are able to glue it together. No, God builds us up each time, so that we are less likely to break, at least not in the same spot. I am still not sure how it all works, but I am glad that He cares so much for me, despite my stumbles.

The Daily Battle

Emma dusted off her blue satin dress. She slowly rose from the dirt path she had fell upon, with determination blazing in her eyes. Focused, she tightly squeezed the grip of her sword. The blade caught a beam from the moon, and shone for a moment as she held it out in front of her. A taunting voice spoke, "You are alone. You had better admit defeat." Emma planted her feet more firmly and narrowed her eyes, to indicate she was prepared to fight.

"I am not alone. This fight cannot be won on my strength alone, and surely my Lord is fighting by my side."

"Fool! You speak of a dead man. It's ludicrous enough you are fighting on behalf of someone who has already been defeated, but to not even accept this defeat...well now, what sense is that?"

"You think I am mad? But alas, the great I Am is the ruler of this land. He has conquered this heart of mine, and there is nothing you can do to penetrate it My Lord lives."

"Lies you weave, indeed. Or perhaps, you are simply victim to those who first wove them. Either way, you are in need of enlightenment. Lay down you sword, and come dine with me. We can share a great future together. You are a pillar of beauty, my dear. I can make sure that the entire land knows of this, and that you may have pick of any man you desire...whenever you desire. Just come with me."

Emma felt the warmth of temptation dancing in her mind and for a moment let her guard down. It opened the ground for her supposed enemy to grow closer. A chill touched her neck and spread down her spine. Suddenly, she snapped back to her position and shouted, "I do not need the people of this land to bow to my beauty. I am merely a reflection of the one who created me. Let it not be me who they see, but rather my Lord."

"But what of suitors? You are but a humble servant to your Lord, poor and dressed so shabby. Is my offer of such a prospect wrong? Does not your Lord wish you happiness? Ah, but perhaps it was the many suitors...if I may offer just one, would it change your mind? Marriage is a respected constitution in your group of servants. Perhaps, this will please you. But please, drop your sword, and come with me."

"A husband would indeed be a blessing, but my Lord says he shall provide one when the time is right. I am but eighteen..."

Sensing a weakness in her voice, the sly Prince of the Night reached out his hand. "Come" he repeated, "I can see you doubt the provision of your Lord. You have right too. He told Margerie the same thing, and look at the spinster. She has fourty-three years and four cats to show for that promise. I care about your well-being. I want you to enjoy life and have all that you deserve."

Despite her best efforts to negate all he said, Emma found herself buying into his offering. "What would I have to do if I took this gift from you?"

"Ah, Emma, just be more open to my suggestions. Your Lord tells you not to speak to me or my army, but you do not even know what you're not listening to. You are missing out on some of the joys of life, that your Lord does not allow in his followers. Is it merely enough that someone who is dead, said long ago that you should not do something, to keep you from not partaking? What is it that you are gaining? Is he going to punish you? You say he calls you one of his own, and that he loves you. How could someone so loving punish you? What is there to lose? If all you say you believe to be true, then in your own logic, you really have nothing to lose. Your ties with him cannot be broken, and are guaranteed once you have signed the cross at the castle gates. What is holding you back?"

Emma lowered her sword, and the slippery prince grew close enough to breathe on her neck. His words seemed to be taking hold of her, and she found her knees growing weak. He began to whisper words of wealth into her open ears and it all poured into her willing mind. She let him take her hand, and allowed him to lead her down the moonlit path. The prince was smiling a brilliant smile, as some of his friends introduced themselves to Emma. Each pledged his loyalty to her and offered her a piece of the forbidden joy she had been closed to. It was all soaked into her mind, as the sword she had laid down, grew further in the distance. Her body felt so weak though her mind was full of all these new intrigues. Emma's braid began to unravel, and the blue satin dress started to fade, as she approached the dwelling of the prince's followers. The kingdoms had been divided long ago, she recalled. The Prince of the Night had had a disagreement with King Illumination. The King was angered and sent him away, with all of the other mutineers. Therefore, the kingdom had been divided. Her heart beat rapidly, as she grew near to the party. Everyone was rejoicing and doing whatever they felt pleased them at the time. Emma, despite the trance she had been under, was appauled at the immorality she witnessed. Everyone was naked, and unashamed of this fact. Wine was being passed around to those who seemed quite inibriated already. A spread of food was laid out, that seemed well picked over. Some people were moaning over the amount of food they had eaten, but did not leave. The realization of what she had done swept over her heart and she felt remorse. She looked over her shoulder, and saw that even though she had left her companion behind, he was still behind her. The Prince, perceiving he was losing Emma's confidence, pulled her into the herd of people. Her hair fell in tangled knots about her, and her dress was promptly ripped from her body. She stood naked amongst the strangers, who were curious about the new arrival. A gray-haired man, with several missing teeth hollared at Emma, and let out a whistle. She was cold, shivering and ashamed as her eyes met those of her Lord. He had followed her, stuck by her, even as she turned her back on him completely and left him in the dust. She immediately fell to the ground weaping. The Prince scoffed at this, and prompted the rest to as well. Out of the darkness, she saw an outstretched hand offer her a pure white garment. Eagerly she put it on. Out of the corner of her eye she spotted her sword. She lunged for it, just as one of the Prince's companions pulled a blade from his sheith. Emma lashed out with the sword, throwing all her passionate anger into each stroke. Triumphantly, she watched the first opposer run off cowering in pain. However, to replace him came two more. It took longer to send them running, but she managed to fend them off. Yet, four more came. She took a blade across the face, as one of the mutineers cackled. Blood trickled from the wound, but she pressed on, only to suffer another blow to her leg. "Where's your Lord now?!" Another mutineer sneered. Emma's heart sank as she realized she had again abandoned her Lord. She called on him to help her. One of the mutineers tripped her and sent her plummeting to the ground, another stood above her, ready to plunge the sword into her chest. A shimmering blade made an intervention, just inches from her body. A row of soldiers from King Illumination's army stood in between her and the dark army of the Prince. The mutineers backed off, and the Prince made some comment about how he just did not feel like fighting anymore and went back to his party, but you could see the fear in his eyes. Emma took the hand of her Lord to help her off the ground. He touched her cheek, the blood ceased its flow from the cut and she was healed. She stood before the Lord she had devoted her life to, and yet seemed to daily stray from. She asked his forgiveness for disobeying his commands, and for thinking she could win the battle alone. Emma knew that she had only made it through one day. As the sun began to peek over the horizon, she knew she had a new day to face. Emma hoped she would take hold of the victory she had in him, before she fell so far the next time. He assured her that the battles would come, but that he would always be there to fight by her side, if only she'd ask it of him. Weary, she found herself being carried by her Lord and Savior, on her way back home.