I am sure many of us have been scanning the radio stations and come across a song that caught your ear. Maybe it was catchy; It had an amazing guitar rift, a shoe-tapping beat or unbelievable vocals. People often feel that they can listen to music without the words effecting them. I have numbed myself to the context of the words before, or justified them, but I have not been able to shut them out. Somehow, I find myself soaking up the tone and message and having it consume my mood. In the past, when I was depressed I would throw on Jewel or something that I found melancholy. Angry? I'd crank up Garbage or some other screaming, rock group. I have since come to the shocking conclusion that this only drags me down. Sounds simple, but I know I am not the only one who finds it enjoyable to wallow in pity. If I am upset, I don't want to ruin that by smiling and moving on, or giving in and admitting I was wrong. However, this is not a lecture on whether or not to listen to secular music. Think back to the song on the radio you stopped for. Was it catchy, or did a word or two enter your ears and hit close to your heart? More often it will be the music or vocals that attracts me to a song, but I also find there are some songs that lyrically could have been penned by me. Not in the sense of talent, but in that the words are as if they sat down and interviewed me. These are the songs I now choose to listen to more often. I find a song is a lot more meaningful, and lasting if I can wrap my heart around it. My hope is that at least one of these songs you will be able to read and exclaim, "That is me!"
1) Let Go-Barlowgirl
There are many moments in my life where I have curled up and just wanted to give up. I did not understand what God was doing in my life and I was afraid to move on. He was calling me to do something beyond my own strength and it was scary. This song is about those feelings. Barlowgirls inspiration behind the song says it best:
“ 'Is God gonna come through for me this time? Is he going to get me through this one? What he told me to do is really scary! Should I really wear modest clothes/stop dating/quit my job * ??? (insert what God is telling you to do here)'
This, guys, is the point of victory. This is where the rubber meets the road. Everything up to this point is just talk. Faith in God means action. Just saying you have faith isn’t enough.
That’s what this song is. The chorus is the terrifying, scary, adrenaline rush of trusting God.
Oh, and it’s worth it. ;-)"---Barlowgirl
http://www.christianlyricsonline.com/artists/barlowgirl/let-go.html
2) Voice of Truth-Casting Crowns
From the opening words, until the end, I can completely relate to this song. I wish my faith were stronger. I have wanted to step out of my comfort zone and trust God was not going to let me fall, only to cave to Satan's lies and the discouraging words people throw at me. I love the chorus though, because it is what I have to remind myself constantly, "The voice of truth tells me a different story."
"But the voice of truth tells me a different story/The voice of truth says, 'Do not be afraid!'/The voice of truth says, 'This is for My glory'/Out of all the voices calling out to me/I will choose to listen and believe the voice of truth."---Casting Crowns
http://www.christianlyricsonline.com/artists/casting-crowns/voice-of-truth.html
3) More Than You'll Ever Know-Watermark
I have been blessed with more than one person I could sing this to, but I can apply it to my husband right now. He has been a true friend through many trials. When he comes home from work and tells me he has prayed for me, it shows me his love. He fights my fights with me, and I am very grateful to have a best friend who brings me closer to God.
" 'Cause you've been more than a friend to me /You fight off my enemies /'Cause you've spoken the Truth over my life/ And you'll never know what it means to me /Just to know you've been on your knees for me/ Oh, you have blessed my life /More than you'll ever know."---Watermark
http://www.christianlyricsonline.com/artists/watermark/more-than-youll-ever-know.html
4) I Need You to Love Me-Barlowgirl
I can relate with several of these girls' songs but this one is really close to my heart. I've seen how many times I seem to sin and stumble in the course of a week. My flesh is weak, and I get so discouraged. I just look to God and wonder why He still loves me. Why does he still want to be near me? I wonder the same of my husband. I cause him pain with my words, and actions, and yet he stands by me. God has revealed many of His truths through my husband. When I start to believe that I am worthless in God's work and hopeless, I sing this song in my head or aloud.
"Why, why are You still here with me /Didn't You see what I've done? /In my shame I want to run and hide myself /But it's here I see the truth /I don't deserve You
[Chorus:]But I need You to love me, and I /I won't keep my heart from You this time/ And I'll stop this pretending/ that I can Somehow deserve what I already have."---Barlowgirl
http://www.christianlyricsonline.com/artists/barlowgirl/love-me.html
5) Alabaster Box-CeCe Winans
I am a sinner, and I am not deserving of Jesus' cleansing blood, but that is the point. I am not deserving, I did not have to earn it, He died for me anyway. I am a sinner and I have come humbly before God, and only He knows what happened in my heart the day He entered in. Only He has seen the change in me as I have fallen at His feet, in times of sorrow and asked for forgiveness.
"You weren't there-/the night He found me/You did not feel what I felt /When He wrapped His loving arms around me/And you don't know the cost/Of the oil in my alabaster box."---CeCe Winans
http://www.christianlyricsonline.com/artists/cece-winans/alabaster-box.html
6) Surrender-Joy Williams
Many times I take my life back from God, and think I know better. My plans are better and the things I have in this world are more pleasing to me. However, I have sung along to this song of surrender many times, with tears in my heart. It is such a refreshing feeling to sing this to Him and pour myself into the words. Surrender.
"Everything I held so precious/Everything I kept away/I give it up, give it up/All for You, /I give it all for You/Everything I held as treasure/I give it all for You, /I give it all for You."---Joy Williams
http://www.christianlyricsonline.com/artists/joy-williams/surrender.html
7) Thinking Over-Dana Glover
I am not quite sure what she meant the song to mean, but I have applied what I interpret it to mean, in my own life. When things were falling apart between me and my first boyfriend, I started to question God. I put my foot down and said, "No, we're going to be together forever!" When I played this song and it got to the part where she sings, "Father, which way should I go?/I cannot clearly see/ Oh, I love him so/ But only you know if he's the one for me." It was so hard to sing along with the last line, but it was true. Only God knew if it would be for forever and I had to accept this. Had I accepted it sooner, I would have saved myself a lot of heartache. Following God and trusting Him, is often a true leap of faith.
"Am I ready for forever?/ Oh God show me a sign/ Cause if we're to be together/ Then it's got to be divine."---Dana Glover
There are many other songs that have found a home in my collection. Maybe one of these has been added to your playlist. I would be glad to hear about songs that have really stood out in your life as well. So, feel welcome to share your revelations as well and may God bless you.
Monday, January 09, 2006
Friday, January 06, 2006
Question and Answer
It is a new year. I wonder these days exactly what that means. One more year behind me. One less year to make an impact in. Presently, I am rather discouraged. My mind is under attack, and I feel myself going under. I live my life as if I am facing unbelievable heartache, because I buy into the lies Satan's demons tell. When I first started this blog I was enthusiastic. My husband saw my desire to write, and told me to pursue it as my ministry. He told me about this site, and encouraged me to create a blog. That is just what I did. However, I have found myself beginning to drift from the idea. It is not because my desire to write has faded. To be honest, it is because I have another blog that I write simply to keep my friends updated about what is going on in my life. However, I find little feedback and not many people visit it. At one point I shared an issue that I felt passionate about and merely started an uproar amongst my friends. I've never felt so defeated emotionally. I am currently believing that if my friends will not even back me, and support me, then who will listen to me? What is the point of me sitting here and pouring out my heart to an empty room? Usually, I wait until I have an answer to such questions before writing, because I get to the point a lot sooner. However, I feel if anything this will get some stuff off my chest.
With this discouragement came an onslaught of depression. My family drove down to visit my husband and I for the holidays and I was ecstatic. I spent the week they were to arrive frantically tidying up the home and wrapping last minute gifts. Without my husband I think I would have burnt out. Being able to hug them and see them face to face was wonderful. Even my younger brother seemed pleased to see me. We shared an enjoyable week and then they had to return home. For about a month I had been psyched about the pending visit, and now? Now, they had to leave. I had not thought of how I was going to deal with that, until they finally arrived. It meant I had to say good-bye again. The result was me sniffling and moping the day they left, while my husband was at work. Pity and pain had settled in and I was fully embracing the state. However, I married a guy who can handle me and he told me simply to give those painful emotions to God. What? No! Then I could not feel bad. I would have to be satisfied with our living arrangements, and Florida. He told me the extent of the suffering I was undergoing was not normal. It was ok to miss them, but not in such a crippling manner. So, I sucked it up and literally cried to God. It is a good thing He has such a big shoulder. Of course, my husband was right. The weight felt lifted from my chest. It still hurt, and I miss them even still, but I can live and smile.
It is great to have a live-in best friend, but when he gets tired or just cannot answer my questions, it is even better to have a 24-7 best friend. I am learning to take advantage of this 'on call' friend. Sometimes, He does not feel like enough. It does not mean He isn't, it just means I am human. Bah, this being human is a pain! Life would be so much more bearable if I prayed more, spent quality time with God, trusted Him, and loved...all the simple ways to live a fruitful life are outlined in the Bible and it is easy to see how they are beneficial. Sin. That little, three letter word makes a big mess. I could simply press on, and write this blog as if I am the most influencial person alive. Yet, this is not to evoke a pat on my back. I just want people to understand I am human, and yet I love God wholeheartedly and I do my utmost to live for Him. Yeah, I fail and slip, sometimes knowingly and other times because I am blind. If only one person reads this on a regular basis, that is enough for me. Today, I was reading about some Christian music artists, because I want to start listening primarily to music that honors God. It was strange to finally admit to myself that I was looking up to secular celebrities. There is a song by Barlowgirl called Pedestal. They wrote it when they found out one of the celebrities they had been fond of did something that disappointed them. It was as if they had been let down. I have been watching celebrity couples divorce, and was particularly hit by Jessica Simpson and Nick Lachey. I guess I had hoped they would last, because she was so adament about her faith. I thought she would be different. When I started to read about all these Christian artists, I felt better. They are going through similar plights, changes and God is revealing Himself to them in new ways, just like me. These are people that I can learn from, and will point me to the one who gives them the wisdom they possess. I am not alone. It was such a revelation. Small things can hit you so big one day, when you just are not looking for it. Not only am I not alone, but there is hope. I am flawed, but not hopelessly. I am small and my voice is quiet, but God's is bigger. If He can use me, then I shall continue to share what He has shown me His truths.
I will press on. Sure, it would make me feel important to have a large following. I don't want to lose sight of what I am standing for though. I am by no means a theologian or great speaker with years of experience. I have 19 years behind me, and so I will look forward to this year with my husband and see where God leads us. I could be afraid to try or I could just let Him work behind the scenes and trust that this is for His glory. Praise be to God! :)
With this discouragement came an onslaught of depression. My family drove down to visit my husband and I for the holidays and I was ecstatic. I spent the week they were to arrive frantically tidying up the home and wrapping last minute gifts. Without my husband I think I would have burnt out. Being able to hug them and see them face to face was wonderful. Even my younger brother seemed pleased to see me. We shared an enjoyable week and then they had to return home. For about a month I had been psyched about the pending visit, and now? Now, they had to leave. I had not thought of how I was going to deal with that, until they finally arrived. It meant I had to say good-bye again. The result was me sniffling and moping the day they left, while my husband was at work. Pity and pain had settled in and I was fully embracing the state. However, I married a guy who can handle me and he told me simply to give those painful emotions to God. What? No! Then I could not feel bad. I would have to be satisfied with our living arrangements, and Florida. He told me the extent of the suffering I was undergoing was not normal. It was ok to miss them, but not in such a crippling manner. So, I sucked it up and literally cried to God. It is a good thing He has such a big shoulder. Of course, my husband was right. The weight felt lifted from my chest. It still hurt, and I miss them even still, but I can live and smile.
It is great to have a live-in best friend, but when he gets tired or just cannot answer my questions, it is even better to have a 24-7 best friend. I am learning to take advantage of this 'on call' friend. Sometimes, He does not feel like enough. It does not mean He isn't, it just means I am human. Bah, this being human is a pain! Life would be so much more bearable if I prayed more, spent quality time with God, trusted Him, and loved...all the simple ways to live a fruitful life are outlined in the Bible and it is easy to see how they are beneficial. Sin. That little, three letter word makes a big mess. I could simply press on, and write this blog as if I am the most influencial person alive. Yet, this is not to evoke a pat on my back. I just want people to understand I am human, and yet I love God wholeheartedly and I do my utmost to live for Him. Yeah, I fail and slip, sometimes knowingly and other times because I am blind. If only one person reads this on a regular basis, that is enough for me. Today, I was reading about some Christian music artists, because I want to start listening primarily to music that honors God. It was strange to finally admit to myself that I was looking up to secular celebrities. There is a song by Barlowgirl called Pedestal. They wrote it when they found out one of the celebrities they had been fond of did something that disappointed them. It was as if they had been let down. I have been watching celebrity couples divorce, and was particularly hit by Jessica Simpson and Nick Lachey. I guess I had hoped they would last, because she was so adament about her faith. I thought she would be different. When I started to read about all these Christian artists, I felt better. They are going through similar plights, changes and God is revealing Himself to them in new ways, just like me. These are people that I can learn from, and will point me to the one who gives them the wisdom they possess. I am not alone. It was such a revelation. Small things can hit you so big one day, when you just are not looking for it. Not only am I not alone, but there is hope. I am flawed, but not hopelessly. I am small and my voice is quiet, but God's is bigger. If He can use me, then I shall continue to share what He has shown me His truths.
I will press on. Sure, it would make me feel important to have a large following. I don't want to lose sight of what I am standing for though. I am by no means a theologian or great speaker with years of experience. I have 19 years behind me, and so I will look forward to this year with my husband and see where God leads us. I could be afraid to try or I could just let Him work behind the scenes and trust that this is for His glory. Praise be to God! :)
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)