Let Me Introduce Myself

I've been saved since the time I was four years old. Yes, I am a Christian. For some that has prompted a quick click of the "back" button. You do not want to hear about the life of a Christian, and that is your decision to make. However, to those who are still with me, I would like to state my purpose for creating this blog.

I have been saved for quite some time, but only at the age of 14 did I really begin to develop a relationship with God. Many temptations came my way and still do. Hard times do befall Christians as well. It is not my intent to paint Christians as well off and perfect. This is far from the truth. We are not supernatural creatures; we are simply human. Yes, we see miracles, gifts and other joys and this is because God is a loving God. It is easy to become stuck on one view. Either Christians are superior and are considerably blessed, or they are miserable because God inflicts hardships on them. Well, God does not inflict those pains on us. He does allow pains though. I do not fully understand how He works, nor will I claim to have all the answers.

Here are my words before you, honest and real. I am not perfect. Each day I strive to meet God's plan for me, and live life to the fullest. Yet, somewhere in that reach I lose my footing and fall flat on my face. After I get up, rub my banged up nose, and brush myself off, there is but one more thing to do...Keep striving. It is hard. Being a Christian is not always easy. Do I dislike being a Christian? No. If I must face trials, I would much rather do so under the care of my Father. If I must fall, it is better to know who is always there to catch me. And catch me, He does.

I titled this blog Letters from the War in My Mind because daily I am in battle. Many habits I have developed over time are a jackpot for Satan's demons. My fears become heightened because I fall into the whisperings of demons. "What if your husband doesn't make it home?" they reason, "What if your mom and dad got in a car accident today, and died?" I know all three people mentioned would go to Heaven, but being here without them would break my heart. Thus, the fear of losing them is often on my mind. Each day I have to tell the fallen angels to "back off." It scared me a lot at first. Hearing about the dark side of the coin caused me to shudder. Now, I do still fall into the trap of fear but at least I know I have the ability to fight back. I don't have to give in. I can live without those fears crippling my mind and heart.

Thus, it is my desire to share with you the battles I face, to encourage those who feel they are alone in the battle. Up until a month ago I believed that I was the most messed up Christian on earth. How could I seriously stand up for God? Look at the constant issues I have! Christians don't face anxiety attacks, depression or fear. Well meaning friends of mine, had managed to shatter my hopes of having a ministry, rather than build me up to one. When I slowly started to realize that even my friends who seemed strongest in his/her walk had struggles like mine, it helped immensely. God opens my eyes to different lessons each day. Some are applied to what I am going through, while others provide insight into a struggle someone I know is facing. I do hope some of you are able to find comfort in knowing you are not alone. If you are not a Christian, perhaps knowing that you do not have to be perfect will be an encouragement. All God asks of us is that we do our best to follow His Word, and grow daily so this becomes easier to do. You will know when you feel convicted. Trust me!